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Then the universe cleared the road and I met my future husband and well, I got comfortable. I love to cook and I had a sweet tooth that would rival Paula Dean pre-diabetes (BTW – I love butter as much as this gal does). So, I gain weight, slowly but surely as the years went by I packed on, egad, 90 lbs. Yep. 90 lbs of fat.
Mr. Bejelly says nothing. He’s gained weight too, maybe 30lbs, but nothing like myself and it’s during our holiday visit to Arizona he catches a glimpse of a photo taken of my hot self at 24. With trepidation he tells me that he is no longer attracted to me and he is worried for my health. To the heart of the matter, I realize what’s he’s trying to say is that I’m fat.
So what did I do? I took it like a man. I didn’t get all self-righteous on him and tell him that he should love me whatever size I am. I didn’t make excuses, hell, I hadn’t even had our child at this point so I can’t blame the kid. I look at my poor husband I tell him through the tears (hello, of course I was crying. I’m not Client Eastwood) that I will work at getting back to a healthier woman for both myself and him.
We got back home and I made changes in my diet and fitness. I walked 5 days a week after work during the middle of winter and started taking yoga at the community center. I lost 30lbs by summer and was happier so was Mr. Bejelly. He told me flat-out he only wanted a healthier wife and that he was worried about me. I’m sure he wouldn’t have complained if I had gotten as fit as I was before.
No one wants to have this conversation. Relationships are tough already and when you throw something like this into the mix it can be the powder keg that blows everything up. I don’t think it’s fair to your partner to not make a change if they are unhappy, particularly if you’ve gained a lot of weight during your relationship.
What are your thoughts? Has this happened to you? Share below.