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How to Overcome the Unexpected Emotions of Divorce

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Last Updated on March 26, 2020

You and the person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with have decided to part ways. Maybe the relationship was toxic, the two of you outgrew each other, or something unforgivable like infidelity happened that caused your marriage to come to an end. But, here you are in the midst of a divorce, not sure what to do. One day you’re fine and the next you find yourself in tears not sure of where to turn next. 

You and the person you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with have decided to part ways. Maybe the relationship was toxic, the two of you outgrew each other, or something unforgivable like infidelity happened that caused your marriage to come to an end. But, here you are in the midst of a divorce, not sure what to do. One day you’re fine and the next you find yourself in tears not sure of where to turn next. 

Going through a divorce is one of the most emotional experiences you’ll ever encounter in life. No matter the reason for your marriage ending, it can drudge up an array of emotions. Though these feelings are normal, if you don’t know how to control them, these feelings can get out of hand. Some people going through divorce get so low emotionally that they try and self-medicate with drugs and alcohol to mask their pain. This unhealthy coping mechanism can quickly turn to addiction among other personal and professional problems. 

If you or someone you know is self-medicating to overcome the unexpected emotions of divorce, seek help from resources like Clear Sky Recovery ibogaine centers to prevent or treat addiction. 

Healthy Ways to Cope

Wallowing in your pain and self-medicating are both unhealthy practices for coping with divorce. If you’re going to get through this trying time in your life, you need to develop healthy habits that will help you move past it all. Here are some solutions below: 

Don’t Be Afraid to Feel

Trying to hold back your emotions does more harm than good. On the surface, it might seem as if you’re getting by, but in reality, you’re causing your mind and body a lot of distress. Pint up emotions can lead to chronic stress or mental illnesses like depression. There’s nothing wrong with crying if you feel sad or punching a pillow if you’re frustrated. It’s also alright to feel positive emotions during your divorce. Don’t be held down by guilt if you find yourself smiling when you think you should be frowning. Release your emotions so that you can process the divorce and move on. 

Write it Down

Speaking of releasing emotions, writing down what you’re feeling allows you to get those feelings out. Venting can be a very therapeutic part of moving on. As you don’t want to share your business with everyone, keeping a diary or journal creates an opportunity for you to say what you want, how you want, and when you want, without the fear of judgment or repercussion. Keeping a journal can also help you see how well you’re progressing as you look back at where you once were mentally and compare it to where you are now. 

Learn From Your Mistakes

Though going through the divorce is hard right now, there are some lessons you can take from your past marriage. Looking at the entire relationship and seeing where your faults were can help you to make positive changes in your life. Whether it’s a need to learn how to communicate more effectively, assert yourself more, work on your self-esteem, or pay closer attention to your partner, these things can help you to cultivate a more positive relationship in the future. As you make these changes, it can help to subside your overwhelming feelings while also providing you hope for something better one day. 

Get Back to Loving You

Doing things that make you feel good is a healthy way to cope with your overwhelming emotions. Learning who you are as a person can help you to improve your relationship with the most important person – yourself. Take up a hobby, learn something new in a class, travel, spend time with friends, or start a new business. Doing so also takes your mind off of the past and to become optimistic about your future. Self-love is also one of the key components to a long-lasting relationship with others. 

Divorce isn’t something that anyone plans, but it’s a reality that happens to couples every day. During this transition in your life, you’re bound to feel emotions that you never expected. Don’t allow this unforeseen circumstance to ruin your future happiness. Though getting through all of this, will take time and patience, using healthy coping mechanisms such as those discussed above can make the journey a lot easier.