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Last Updated on May 27, 2020
Are you and your spouse at the end of the line? Do you feel like you can’t live anymore with constant fighting or a broken heart? If this is the case then perhaps getting a divorce might be better than being stuck in a bad marriage. If you are in an abusive marriage, or if your spouse is constantly cheating on you, then it could be time to get out.
When it comes to getting a divorce, only you will know what the right thing is to do. Divorce is never easy, so you will have to weigh up the pros and cons.
What have stats shown with regard to divorce? While some statistics show that some are happier after a divorce, according to OnlineDivorce, most adults are unhappy after a divorce and suffer psychological distress in comparison to people who are married. Studies also showed that people who suffered from major stressors in a marriage, such as abuse, were happier immediately after a divorce, but that others who worked through those problems with their spouses were happier for working through their issues. For example, if there was infidelity in a marriage, some couples who worked together through the hurt were closer than ever after having worked through their issues.
Every relationship is unique though and it can be really hard to work through a bad marriage. If you have children, it might be a good idea to work things through with your spouse. But if you and your spouse argue constantly in front of your kids, this could cause more emotional harm than good. You will have to see what would be the best option for you and your family. Think about how your marriage affects your kids. Are you setting a good example of how a loving and respectful marriage should be? Or are you teaching your children that constant fighting and abuse is normal? Whatever you decide, it is really important to think about your children and their emotional well being. Even if you do get a divorce, you will still have to be in contact with your ex, if you have children; Therefore the arguing might continue and not be resolved.
It is incredibly difficult to work through a bad marriage but it can be equally as hard-working through a divorce, even if the divorce seems like a good or easy one. Starting over after a divorce might feel like a fresh start for some, but might also be devastating for others. Therefore getting a divorce might not necessarily make you happier, as statistics show. It all depends on what it is that you went through during your marriage.
Is divorce better than an unhappy marriage? According to PsychologyToday, you need to answer that question for yourself. How bad is your marriage? Is your spouse abusive? Verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually? Has your spouse cheated on you? Does your spouse refuse to take care of you financially and not allow you to work? In these cases, considering divorce would be a good idea, even necessary. You would never want to put your own life in danger or the lives of your children.
What would a divorce mean for you? Would you be able to cope emotionally? Would you be able to live on one income? Can you raise your children as a single parent? Are you ready for all the challenges that divorce could bring?
It would be a good idea to write down the pros and cons of getting a divorce. Some marital issues can be resolved with counseling. Seeing a marital counselor can help you work through your issues. Maybe you lack communication in your marriage. A therapist can help you to talk to your partner. In turn, this will help you work through your issues together, which could bring you a lot closer. Consider counseling before you decide to get a divorce.
Another thing to think about is can you see yourself with someone new? Can you imagine seeing your spouse with someone new? If you still have any kind of feelings for your spouse, rather see if you can work on your marriage. Getting a divorce is not a small decision, if you have even a tiny glimmer of hope, then pursue it.
So when is divorce better than an unhappy marriage?
- If you have been in an unhappy, abusive marriage for years, then getting a divorce gives you the opportunity to meet the right person for you. Maybe after your divorce, you will want to retake your maiden name to help you can start anew. It’s completely legal to do this after a divorce, and it can help you move on. You can then maybe meet someone who will make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. For more information on how to legally change your name after a divorce, visit websites like Eznamechange.com.
- Get a divorce if you are modeling bad relationships for your kids. If your partner is abusive, getting a divorce will be better for your children. If you are in a marriage where your partner hits you, abuses you, doesn’t take care of you emotionally, or financially, divorce is better. By getting out of an abusive marriage you are teaching your children that kind of disgusting behavior is unacceptable, and that they should not put up with it when they become adults.
- Divorce gives you a new start. If you get out of an unhappy marriage, then you have the opportunity to start afresh. Sometimes a new start is all you need to feel like yourself again. You can focus on you, and figure out what it is that you really want in life.
- You might feel happier again if your marriage was really bad. Like I mentioned earlier, studies show that people who get divorced because of an abusive marriage, feel happier immediately. For some, divorce might be an initial shock, but after some time you might feel happier than you have felt in a really long time.
Marriage is a wonderful thing if you have chosen the right person to spend the rest of your life with. Sadly, sometimes it doesn’t always work out the way that we had hoped for. But staying in an unhealthy marriage can cause so much damage to yourself, as well as to your children. Sometimes getting divorced is the only way forward. You deserve a life filled with happiness and security.